The Day That Shouldn’t Have Come
I heard the new Metallica song on the radio this Friday. The DJ then asked for us to call in with our thoughts, all the while saying how they were “trying to get back to the old Metallica” and various other phrases that lead you to believe this is going to be the one.
You know which ‘one’ I am talking about. The ‘one’ that you have been waiting for since the last note of the black album. The song that shows that Metallica is still awsome.
Well, this song isn’t it.
I listened to it. It starts off strong musically… and then he starts to sing. And seriously, he sounds like Weird Al Yankovic. Only that isn’t fair to Weird Al, because if he was singing it, he’d do a better job.
Then the song continues. Forever it would seem. The begining which sounded like a good build up, never actually builds up, it is the song. Where is the metal, METALlica?? Where is my crunch? my double bass? Near the end you get a hint, a taste, like someone had a beer in your glass before you poured water in it, but you know that isn’t going to do anything but make you want a real one.
So then it happens. The callers start up. The first one sounds like he is younger than my shoes and proceeds to tell us how much this song ‘rocked’. OK fine. The DJ agrees. Next caller, same. Next. Next. The “I’ve been listening to Metallica for 20 years” caller, rocks.
Then the DJ says it. The DJ says it sounds like this song came right off of “In Justice For All.” I am speechless. No, that is a lie, I am cussing up a storm. I grab my phone and proceed, for the first time in YEARS to call a radio station.
This song does NOT sound like it came from “In Justice For All.” That album was art. “Ride The Lightning” practically defined a genre. THIS song was not made by that band. If the Metallica of that era walked on stage while Metallica played “The Day That Never Comes” they would have beaten them off the stage for disgracing their name. The only thing I can think of is that Metallica was replaced by alien doppleganger squirrels. Nothing else makes sense.
I can’t get through to the DJ, which is probably a good thing. Calling him a moron on the air would have probably resulted in my getting a sound byte and mocked incessantly.
Look, the song isn’t awful, but it is not good either. It isn’t Creed, or Limp Bizkit. It just isn’t old-school Metallica either. It is their right to change, to sound however they want. And it is my right to pretend they broke up after Enter Sandman.