The New Metallica Song

The Day That Shouldn’t Have Come

I heard the new Metallica song on the radio this Friday. The DJ then asked for us to call in with our thoughts, all the while saying how they were “trying to get back to the old Metallica” and various other phrases that lead you to believe this is going to be the one.

You know which ‘one’ I am talking about. The ‘one’ that you have been waiting for since the last note of the black album. The song that shows that Metallica is still awsome.

Well, this song isn’t it.

I listened to it. It starts off strong musically… and then he starts to sing. And seriously, he sounds like Weird Al Yankovic. Only that isn’t fair to Weird Al, because if he was singing it, he’d do a better job.

Then the song continues. Forever it would seem. The begining which sounded like a good build up, never actually builds up, it is the song. Where is the metal, METALlica?? Where is my crunch? my double bass? Near the end you get a hint, a taste, like someone had a beer in your glass before you poured water in it, but you know that isn’t going to do anything but make you want a real one.

So then it happens. The callers start up. The first one sounds like he is younger than my shoes and proceeds to tell us how much this song ‘rocked’. OK fine. The DJ agrees. Next caller, same. Next. Next. The “I’ve been listening to Metallica for 20 years” caller, rocks.

Then the DJ says it. The DJ says it sounds like this song came right off of “In Justice For All.” I am speechless. No, that is a lie, I am cussing up a storm. I grab my phone and proceed, for the first time in YEARS to call a radio station.

This song does NOT sound like it came from “In Justice For All.” That album was art. “Ride The Lightning” practically defined a genre. THIS song was not made by that band. If the Metallica of that era walked on stage while Metallica played “The Day That Never Comes” they would have beaten them off the stage for disgracing their name. The only thing I can think of is that Metallica was replaced by alien doppleganger squirrels. Nothing else makes sense.

I can’t get through to the DJ, which is probably a good thing. Calling him a moron on the air would have probably resulted in my getting a sound byte and mocked incessantly.
Look, the song isn’t awful, but it is not good either. It isn’t Creed, or Limp Bizkit. It just isn’t old-school Metallica either. It is their right to change, to sound however they want. And it is my right to pretend they broke up after Enter Sandman.

These are the Ramblings of the Newly Old

“What do you want to do when you grow up?”

The question was asked to all of us at one point. Where is your direction in life? Where are you going? What is it you want to spend the rest of your life doing?

The rest of my life.

That is a bit of time for one thing, one task, one GOAL. Seems too much for any one thing to take, a burden even Atlas would cringe at.

So perhaps instead of what do I want to do, it should be what do I want to do for now? Now I seem to be doing well as an engineer, part time writer. If I had a say, it would be the other way. Writing every day and consulting as an engineer. One of these days, no?

That being said, I was a web programmer once upon a time. Something I still dabble in, still mingle at parties with. I’d go back there too if it was something interesting. Database programming for corporate websites would not be my ideal.

So what do I want to be when I grow up? Well, since I don’t have plans to grow up, I suppose I have time to figure it out.

June, a retrospective

June found me in the desert. It found me in the car. June drove, occasionally, but only when I didn’t want to go that way in the first place.

June found the floor of my house after ripping up the carpet to install laminate. It did not, however, stick around to finish the job.

June brought a new motorcycle in my garage that I don’t own, but had to fix. It found my motorcycle in parts and ignored it.

June read a kick as Sci-Fi novel one morning at the pub, pint in one hand.

June called twice, and left messages, but I never called back.

June was a wedding outside with five friends who have never needed tuxes to stand by each other. It was hot, but we were prepared. There was dancing and laughter and re-arranging furniture.

June found ice on Mars.

June never found time for a blog post, which is why this is in July. Or at least, that sounds good.

June taught me capoeira angola, watching as I did cartwheels, ginga-ed, and laughed until my body was sore in new and creative places.

June reminded me I am still young.