A Journey into Non-Alcholic Beers

Intro – Part 1 – Part 2 – Part 3

In the middle of everything else that was going on in 2020, I went on some meds that meant I would have to be dry for a few weeks.

Considering all things, it seemed like a long time.

So I decided to grab a six pack of O’Doul’s and sit outside and pretend like everything was fine.

What I found was… it was fine? Like for the afternoon I-was-probably-going-to-have-a-light-pilsner-anyway beer, it was fine. In fact, it was just what I was looking for, AND fewer calories.

And I could have one or two on a Tuesday night and not worry about Wednesday morning. I could have a few at a party and still drive home. If I’d had a real beer or two at dinner, an NA beer let me have one more to stay and visit and not worry.

Fewer calories, less worry, what else do you need?

Oh right. Taste.

But that’s the thing, I found that too. Especially when I stopped looking for beer that tasted like X, and appreciated the NA beer for itself.

I haven’t gone dry, but have added NA Beers to my personal menu, enjoying them for both what they are, and the extra freedom they give me when I enjoy them.

We’ll start with the easy to find stuff, and follow on with more craft beers in a bit. I made a list of the beers I’d had as I was writing this and was happy to see how long it was. The days of two NA beer choices are behind us.

Warnings about NA vs Zero Alcohol

There are, in general, two kinds of NA beers. Non-Alcoholic and Zero Alcoholic. Non- means that the percentage is %0.5 or less. So if for any reason you cannot have any alcohol, these are not for you, as they still may have trace amounts.

Zero alcohol beers (%0.0) are just that, completely free. For some of us this is an important distinction, so I wanted to call it out. I will do my best to label things, but always read the labels of what you are buying to be sure.

O’Doul’s (<%0.5)

Let’s start with the king of NA beers

You may think of O’Doul’s and NA Budweiser, but they taste different. O’Doul’s is smoother and a little sweeter.

It is easy to find, it fills the roll of other American lager/pilsners, and tastes just fine. O’Doul’s is probably my most common NA purchase.

O’Doul’s Amber (<%0.5)

O’Doules has a second version, their Amber, which is also a tasty light beer. Think Killian’s, rather than Dos Equis.

A little harder to find than the original version, I still grab it when I can.

Coors Edge (<%0.5)

While O’Doul’s is the one I get the most, this one is probably my favorite of this style of beer. The Coors has a crisper taste. Recommend giving this one a try, especially if you have an issue with the sweetness of O’Doul’s.

Bud Zero (0.0)

Showing up shortly after I started down this path, Budweiser Zero is a 0.0 version of Bud. It is more bitter than the O’Doul’s, which some may prefer. In the end, tho, I’ll grab O’Doul’s first.

Lagunitas IPNA

I lovingly refer to this as the IP Nay, which is probably funnier in my head. But say it aloud just in case (NAAAAAY!). This was my first step away from the standard American style beer. Lagunitas’s IPA is a good IPA for those who like the lighter side of the hops. (Like me!) And the IPNA brings that taste with it. Link

Heineken 0.0 (0.0)

The only issue I have with Heineken 0.0 is that it tastes like a Heineken. Quips aside, they should be commended for the faithfulness. If you like Heinekens, this 0.0 beer is for you. link

Kaliber (<%0.5)

This is a NA Pils brewed by Guinness. It has a bolder flavor than most of the others on this list, pushing closer in flavor to a Harp than the American style pils. I quite enjoy it.

Buckler’s (<%0.5)

I was introduced to this one because it was the NA beer my local pub carried. Like Caliber, it is bolder, more flavorful than the standard faire.

Guiness 0 (<%0.5)

(Despite the name, this is NOT a 0.0 beer)

Finding this was an epic quest. I had heard Guinness had a NA beer, but had assumed after my searches the rumors were about Kaliber… Until I started getting ads for this. It was not easy to find, despite the numerous places around that sell normal Guinness, I had to travel over an hour away to get it.

And.

It tastes like Guinness. To be specific it tastes like Guinness in a can. The cans have the nitro bubble in that pops when you open, the beer is smooth and creamy as you’d expect it to be.

I don’t know why this is so hard to find, and I hope that changes.

Santa Clausthaler Christmas

I’m going to end this one with this amazing thing. Those weeks on meds was going to cross through the holiday season, and while Pumpkin beers are still my favorite, a Christmas beer helps in the dark of winter.

One day in the store a red six pack called Santa Clausthaler showed up, and so I thought what the hell.

It was delicious.

Cinnamon and spice, it tasted like Christmas candles smelled.

I didn’t see any for sale in 2021, but hopefully there will be more this year.

Clasusthaler is a NA brewer with other selections as well. Link

Next time

I’ll start on the craft NA beers I’ve found, which is pleasantly a growing list.

A Discussion on Virtual Cons

I want to start by making something very clear: I support not just virtual cons but adding virtual components to cons. I attended a few of these in 2020 and found them a great experience.

I do think there are some things we need to talk about.

I’ll start by saying that most of this is from the perspective of a writer doing a reading / Q&A, seminars, or a panel. But there should be crossover with other con activities as well.

I was on a panel at a con a few years ago and it was recorded for a podcast, posted a few weeks afterwards. I found out it was going to be recorded for a podcast when someone who had listened to it messaged me about something I had said.

No one had asked us if this was ok. No one had told us we were being recorded. No one mentioned it was posted directly to us.

(For the record I was not upset, I thought it was cool, but I did have a bit of worry about what I said…)

Which brings me to the first thing we need to talk about, and that’s consent. It needs to be clear to the attendees which part of the show will also be virtual, AND give an opportunity to op out.

Because all the advantages you get for being a virtual attendee, it is the opposite for the presenter.

I’ve been doing theatre since I was little. I’ve done hundreds of shows in all kinds of locations. Been on the stage with nearly 700 people watching me.

When you turn on a video camera the feeling changes. It isn’t this ethereal performance anymore, it is something more permanent.

And a lot of my fellow writers already have nervousness and anxiety about reading to a group. The virtual part can only compound that. The recording part can only compound it.

I know I will be much more reserved, much more carful with my words, especially answers to questions since instead of living in the moment as a part of a discussion, those words are now being recorded.

And someone who doesn’t want to be recorded for any reason should be able to opt out.

Let’s talk about those recordings. What are you doing with them? Are you making money off of them? Are you posting them for a limited time? Forever? If I wanted it taken down, what is the process?

Are you charging for replays? I understand that the virtual infrastructure needs to be paid for, but there is a difference between me doing a reading at a con for free, and me recording a video that you are profiting off of for free.

Which gets to the murky part that I don’t have answers for: what rights are we giving up as writers?

If I read a story aloud and it is posted on YouTube, have I just used the audio rights?

If the video gets a transcription, something we should be doing as good citizens, that is effectively publishing my story, which has implications if it was as of yet unpublished, and, if I have signed a exclusive contract, may be something not allowed.

Do you have a code of conduct? Not just “don’t be a dick” I mean guidance on how I am presenting myself. Can I talk politics? Can I cuss? (I’m going to cuss, sorry about that, I say fuck a lot) do you want a “rating” or content warnings announced?

That’s too much to thing about, too complicated, we should just forget the virtual stuff.

No it isn’t. No you shouldn’t. If my 70 year old aunt can organize a virtual wedding with the characters in my family, cons can provide this.

It means some of your guests are going to turn you down, and that’s ok. It means some things are going to go wrong, and that’s ok. It means you’ll need to plan for these things ahead of time, and that’s ok.

I’m going to end as I began, and say that virtual cons and virtual components to in person conventions are a great thing and I hope we don’t just keep them, but improve them, and expect them.

They allow for attendance above the hotel capacity, they allow for attendance by those who may not otherwise be able to for financial, personal or any other kind of reasons.

They allow guests to attend from distance! You can do a virtual reading from anywhere, so you can participate even if you aren’t able to travel.

We just need to make sure we are all on the same page about some things, lest we find ourselves into a new situation where people are being taken advantage of.

Am I A “Real Writer”?

The question is asked, internally at first, then externally, usually in response to some advice or anecdote about writing. One of the most common is “write every day” which gets responses about how that isn’t possible for everyone and the discussion moves away from the purpose of “write everyday” to something about “am I a real writer”—

People seeking validation, but in the form of pushing against gatekeeping. But the gatekeeper here is, of course, ourselves.

I’ve been writing since I was very young, telling stories longer. Writing poetry since I was 16, first published at 19. I started writing horror short stories when I was 22 and was first published (on horrorfind.com) at 23. I started my first novel when I was 17. I wanted to write epic multi-volume fantasy.

Am I a real writer? I’ve not completed a story in over a year, and have only composed a handful of poems worth reading in the same time. I’ve got over a dozen half finished novel drafts on my computer archive, none of which are finished.

I certainly don’t feel like a real writer no matter how I stack the statistics, the metrics, nothing I put together gets past the gatekeeper—me.

I do write everyday, most every day, journal entries, sometimes little poems or scenes from stories. Writing everyday is about practice, it’s about using a skill so you get better at it.

It is not about “real writer”–you can practice a sport everyday and not be a player. Writing everyday is just one of the things suggested because, statistically, you will get better the more you write. But, to push the sport metaphor, you still have to play the game.

In this moment the game, for me, is finishing a thing, a collection of poems, a novel, a short story collection. The “game” itself isn’t so much publication, as it would be more commonly referred to, but instead bring to fruition a work of art.

“Real writer” is a bad term. There is a difference between a published writer and an unpublished writer, but both are still writers. There is no marker or metric that defines ‘real.’

Then how do we, how do I, find validation? And for me the answer has always come to being read, which to do I would have to finish something.

Are you a “real writer” if you write everyday? You tell me. What is it you are seeking?

Because this is a journey, and no two people take the same path.